In the Middle Ages, there was an orderly procedure for the dispensation of the wife unlike in today's gynocracy. Ownership goes from the son to the dog to the best friend. Bobby's too young, Ladybird's too old I already own a wife Boomhauer doesn't have the time so Bill, this could be your in.
Don't worry Peggy, I'll take care of you.
That is as unnecessary as it is repulsive.